splash

splash
Originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

(more swimming photos from a few weeks ago, until i manage to upload more that i've taken. we're a bit technically disorganized around here lately.)

so, i feel like i used to blog every little change in eva. since i've barely posted since, i don't know, june? i feel like so many important things have not been commented upon. so here's a run-down of what i can remember as having been missed:

she's a crazy communicator. at a year, she was doing about 25 signs, and i stopped counting but i think she's added about 10 more. also, when we left for alaska, she said , pretty much only "hi" and "papa". by the time we returned, she was saying about 20 words (note that grandpa or "gah-pah" came well before "mama"), and i immediately vowed to stop counting to preserve my sanity. (i count not to have something to boast over, but rather because my compulsive tendencies require it -- ask larry about how i still can't go to a movie without counting the stars on the paramount logo as they swoop onto the screen, despite having vowed years ago to stop counting them. there are 22. there will still be 22 next time. anyway, that's plenty of info about my counting for today...) so she says a whole mess o' words, and still signs. and for some words does both, and that category is growing as she adds spoken words to her signed concepts (recently adding a sweet questioning "moah?" to the sign for more, how can i deny that kind of request?)

i'd have to say she's officially walking, although she still crawls for the vast majority of her transportation needs. i feel like this whole walking thing is such an anticlimax. she took her first step in may, and by a year could walk back and forth between larry and i fairly well. she since improved her balance so that she can *stop* walking (without, you know, using her face), and in the past few weeks learned to stand up rather than pull up. she's so proud of that, you can just see it. she'll now stand up on her own, walk toward something, pause, change direction, eventually squat down when she loses her balance. anyway, i say it's anticlimactic because... at some point in that whole progression of skills, she became a kid who walks, but somehow i feel like i missed it. that, and she's still not really a walker, because she still crawls. but yet everyone makes such a big deal, i feel like some fireworks should go off or something. plus, she's on the later end of the range for this, so honestly, i get tired of the questions and even well-meaning comments. i just say "she can walk, she just chooses not to." it's cliche, but so apt -- i read recently that walking takes balance, strength, and temperment, with the latter determining when it all happens. (the same book said they won't be talking much for another couple months because they're too busy concentrating on learning to walk. hmm.)

ooh, she's up, so this is the end for now.

return

swimming cousins
Originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

okay, i haven't posted anything in almost two months. we were in alaska, then i had a bit of trouble readjusting to life at home, then she was sick for a week. then, honestly, after all that time, i started to feel overwhelmed by all the unsaid things pushing to get out of my brain (particularly regarding all the details and all my emotions regarding our trip) that i went with my usual solution, inaction. so, here i am, and i'll just post what i'm thinking about right now rather than try to catch up all in one post.

here's a photo i took from our weekend in college station after we returned from alaska. i really like this shot, it's actually good of both girls -- the telephoto lens is a big help i think.

in my last post forever ago, i commented that eva had just cut three molars all at once. well, sticking with her papa-given nickname of Low Probability Baby, she proceeded to get 5 teeth at once (within 10 days) right as we returned from our trip -- which of course means she was teething the whole time we were there. she got her last molar, along with the outer four front teeth. this was a few weeks ago, so they're now coming in more and it looks more like she has this full mouth of teeth.

boy does she ever. she bit me last night (this was a big problem in july, but has been fine the last two months really), and i said "i can't let you bite, eva, that hurts mama" and put her on the floor. she had this hurt look on her face and started sobbing. it wasn't her now-familiar frustration sort of tantrumy thing (more on that to follow), she really seemed hurt -- the way i often was (well, and still am) when i'm being scolded because i instantly feel bad about what i did but can't fix it. we could be reading too much into this, but this time larry and i both thought that she seemed to get that, like she really did feel bad that she bit me and also didn't like that she was now removed from me onto the floor. and like she made the connection between the action and its consequence. she's getting older, she understands lots of things now. since we've been home, we've firmly moved from the remnants of babyhood firmly into the toddler arena. bittersweet, to say the least.

more to come, but i'm glad i've broken the spell of inaction. i'm off to see how the jabbering eva and her half-asleep papa doing in the other room. oh, wait, jabbering just turned to yells of "mama! mama! mama!" followed by a screech...

blockhead?

Here are two photos from a few weeks ago, when we were at the aquarium in Galveston with my sisters. There are more on my flickr site.

This week Larry is in Boston, sitting through all-day meetings for a week. That doesn't sound too fun, but they try to make up for it by going out in the evenings and having fun. We've been amusing outselves by playing with our spankin' new cell phones, which can send text messages (I know, welcome to the current century) and photos and videos. So, Larry, along with various family members, has been receiving a 30 second video (or two or three) of Eva every day this week. I'm sure the novelty will wear off, but it is fun to do, and maybe that means he'll miss her a little bit less. Larry sent a photo of himself this afternoon, and I showed Eva and she smiled and waved, and then right after I set the phone down, she started saying "papa".

Eva is making a big effort to double her total number of teeth all this week. She'll have to produce an 8th tooth to hit that mark, and I hope she doesn't, but an impressive effort nontheless. She came up with three molars this week. I guess she decided to skip the four other front teeth she doesn't yet have. I could tell she's been teething for a few weeks, but I didn't expect all these molars. I'm babbling in circles, I'm so impressed. Wait, could I be speechless? .... (Nah.) I guess she's not done yet, because she has woken up 5 times in the 90 minutes she's been asleep, and that's after a dose of ibuprofen. (Why is she always teething when Larry is travelling?)

Today she stacked some wooden disks onto a peg. She hadn't done that before, but I showed her and she immediately did it with ease. So, I think yet again, it's not that she just now figured out how, but more like she's saying "oh, that's what you wanted me to do? why didn't you just say so?" I swear, sometimes I wonder what I do all day that I haven't taught her this stuff yet. Sometimes I really feel bad about this. Apparently I'm slow to catch on to the concept that now that she's not a baby, it's no longer sufficient to keep her content and fed, I have to teach her things, too. Not like I'm trying to teach her French by age 2 and playing classical music all the time to make her smarter, but shouldn't I occasionally show her how to, for example, stack a damn block? I worry that I'm just lazy, that I'd rather take a break when she's content. Then again, I'm not too worried, really, because I suspect this is just yet another thing for me to beat myself up about as a mom that doesn't really matter much in the long run. So, steady on, I guess...

danger, danger!

laughing with papa
Originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

on paper, we've had a week filled with danger and emergencies. in reality, we're fine.

first event, eva finally did it. due to her interest in (okay, i'll call it an obsession with) the phone, she finally managed to call 911. once i noticed her playing with the phone, i hung it up, and within 15 seconds there was a call back. i had that feeling.... and sure enough. here, we'll do this like they do on news stories and crime reenactments:

911 operator: "is this kristy and*****-ewi**?"
kristy and*****-ewi**: (knowing telemarketers never get her name right) "yes..."
911: "this is mike with austin 911. we just received a call from your residence. is everything okay, ma'am?"
kae: "oh no! i am so sorry, that was my daughter."
911: "so everything is okay?"
kae: "oh, yes, everything's fine, she was just playing with the phone. you know, i was worried this would happen someday."
911: "yes, we could hear her laughing in the background [she had been screeching, actually], so i figured that might be the case. but everything is okay? you're fine?"
kae: "yeah, we're totally fine. but again, i'm really sorry."
911: "it's okay, just keep that phone away from her in the future, please."
kae: "i definitely will. okay, bye."

i think we get one free pass. but now i really have to keep the phones up high.

number two, she scratched herself on a bit of pokey wire (which is assisting in holding up the "entertainment center"), and as a result, she had her very first non-medical-proceedure-related bloodshed. symbolic, sad to us, but she of course barely seemed to notice. it didn't even require a band-aid(tm) brand adhesive bandage.

number three in our banner week of "it could have been worse" events, we had to call poison control! (but notice that this smart mama ordered and put a poison control magnet on the fridge many months ago, so chalk one up on my column before you immediately erase it when you hear the rest of this story!) eva was pushing around her cart of blocks, and i was laying on the floor playing with her and listening to NPR. i remember feeling sleepy and thinking that the room was babyproofed, and that i'd *hear* her if she got into anything if i just closed my eyes for a minute (yeah right, the silence is how you know they're into something!). next thing i know (seven minutes later), larry is saying my name (apparently he said it four times and had to repeatedly kick my foot before i woke up, so i was soundly asleep -- nice touch, huh?), and he's holding eva surrounded by shreads of plant leaves all over the floor. so yes, she ate some of the plant (or at least pieces were fished out of her mouth), and after some internet research, we determined that "croton" (who knew?) is indeed poisonous, and incidentally, so is pretty much every other plant in my house. so i had a really helpful, consise conversation with poison control, who said i should just feed her a bit to settle her stomach and "give them a holler back" if she vomited more than three times. hurray, poison control! hopefully they're not in contact with austin 911, or i'm going to get reported to some less friendly state agency.

there you have it. i guess these things come in threes. and these are all basically non-events, but like i said, they sound much worse on paper.

i took this photo last weekend in college station, a sweet moment between a little girl and her dad. we had such a lovely time, and this photo sort of sums it up for me.

birth day

Last weekend, we had a big first birthday party for Eva, with about 35 guests (including many of her superfriends) and a big ol' cake, of course. It was really fun, and I'm not entirely sure what Eva thought, but I was really touched that so many people came to help us celebrate. It was a really tangible sign of how many people we have in our lives that love this little girl and are here to support us when we need it -- and that doesn't even count all the people who live farther away. Anyway, it was fun if a little crazy. Example: I forgot to let Eva eat any of her cake (after I forgot that we should sing happy birthday before I started dismantling it!), so she had a slice of cake the next day. However, during this, her first opportunity to have refined sugar, she never did consent to even the tiniest speck of it entering her mouth, as you can see in this series of cake "eating" photos (don't view as a slide show if you want the captions).

I spent a lot of time the week prior to Eva's birthday thinking about what I was doing "a year ago, right now...". A year ago, I was was at the hospital in Austin with Larry and my midwife pre-registering for my scheduled c-section (it took me three tries and lots of crying before I could check the little "c-section" box on the form). A year ago, I had just spoken with the doctor in Dallas and was packing to head up there that afternoon -- we threw the car seat in the back of the car on a whim, good thing. A year ago, I was having an external version attempt and then waiting around for the epidural to wear off, while denying my early labor signs despite the look on my doctor's (and Larry's) face. A year ago, my water broke as we were pulling up to Taco Bell, and I made Larry run in and get me food while I was on the phone, informing the doctor's office that they needed to page Dr. Graham even though it was her night off, because "no, you see, I'm that breech woman up from Austin". A year ago, we were working to get labor started. A year ago, I was in transition (but didn't know it) and pacing back and forth in my labor room, clutching the "short list" of boy names yelling at Larry that we had to have a name now! A year ago, as I scooted over onto the operating table (as I was in the OR just in case), right in the middle of a contraction because there was no time to waste, I noticed that maybe I should be scared -- but then was too distracted to bother. A year ago, I was concentrating on the most important momen of my life, when Eva's body was out and I needed that one last push to really count so that her head would emerge and she could take that first breath. A year ago, I held my baby in my arms and Larry and I exchanged that kind of look that says everything in an instant. I spent that last week recounting these moments while doing the usual daily routine, changing diapers or chopping vegetables or nursing Eva, and that juxtaposition between those moments of incredible transition a year ago and the tasks of someone firmly established in motherhood today... it made these memories all the more powerful. What a difference a year makes.

I love you, Eva. Happy Birthday.