auntie julie

in-motion portrait, originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

eva and i just dropped julie off at the airport. we had a fun but quick four days (plus a few hours) together. things don't always go according to plan -- in fact, things can go totally opposite to the plan -- and yet you find in the end that your enjoyment wasn't diminished at all.

the running joke is that it rains everywhere julie goes to visit. this all started when it rained on her (outdoor) wedding day, some of the most torrential rain i've seen in a while. then it rained for basically her entire honeymoon trip to playa del carmen. she came to visit us last june, and we spent a long weekend at the beach, with approximately two hours of beach sun and a whole lot of rain (and highway flooding as we went through houston). it rained on her vacation to winnepeg last summer, too. so, when i told her not to bother packing long sleeved shirts, let alone coats (because it's april in texas, of course!) -- i guess i momentarily forgot to whom i was speaking. oops.

we had been enjoying seasonal weather in the 80s, but the day she arrived it started cooling off. by saturday, it was 34 degrees (a new record low) and *sleeting*, ice freezing under our feet. seriously. that's an impressive change in the weather even for julie's proven powers. i've never seen such a thing. true to the pattern, she left today and it's supposed to be around 80 degrees tomorrow. perfect! (she was a good sport, saying at least it was warmer than the 10 degree weather when she left fargo, but sadly it was warmer in alaska than austin this weekend. i guess she flew the wrong direction.)

the other little wrench in the works was that eva was (is?) sick. she started getting sick the day before julie arrived, and while i thought she was pulling through (and that we could actually do pur planned easter activities) , it turns out she was the most sick of all yesterday (easter). i haven't seen eva that lethargic and sick for a long time. she spent three hours writhing around on my lap, half asleep and half crying, saying "mama hold me, please mama". poor baby. she slept a bit and the fever broke, and she was bright and perky for a few hours. that's been her pattern the whole five days that she's been sick. so, julie still got to play with eva, but she wasn't quite her usual self.

in spite of illness (did i mention julie was getting over being sick, too?) and the weather, we still had so much fun. we bundled up and played at the park (mmm, amy's ice cream!), went shopping, made easter eggs and easter bread (how much easter bread can you eat before feeling ill? i'm not sure exactly, but it's some amount less than what i ate), took bluebonnet photos and went for a walk in the wagon. mostly, we just played around the house -- eva coerced julie into reading nearly every book we own at least twice, we played goofy games of hide-and-seek, and listened to eva jabber away nonstop to "ahn duey"...

it's sad to see julie go, but at least the next time we see her, it won't have been as long (six months feels like forever at this age, but hopefully we'll see her in ND this summer).

oh, eva's new trick this week is counting. it generally goes: one two three four five eight nine ten four eleven, but the ten is optional. she's obsessed with eleven (from a page in a dr. seuss book where the guy has eleven fingers). one two three four eleven!

generalized cuteness

horsey, originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

this is eva enjoying a round of "ride the horsey" with gram on larry's birthday. she knows it's almost time for "the horsey falls down"... and look at that anticipation! too cute. i managed to get her face in focus but keep the telling motion blur in her arms. we'll pretend that was skill rather than luck.

eva's been telling me the story of how "mama go airplane, fly 'way. eva stay papa." what did you do with papa? "eat food. play toys." after mama flew away, then what did mama do? "mama come back! find eva!" she seems to have a handle on this, but is still processing my overnight absense. i reassure her that i'm not going away again for a long time, and that mama always comes back.

last night i was telling eva more about the fact that auntie julie will be arriving today on an airplane. i said that she'll ride home with us in mama's car, then stay at our house and play with us. she thought for a minute, then said (pointing next to her), "julie sleep right there, little bed!" oh, you want auntie julie to sleep here next to you? sure, maybe she'll do that sometime. eva thougth for a minute more, then declaired "julie come house, lemma bark a julie." yes, eva, i think you know your dog pretty well. (last week every time lemma barked, eva said "lemma bark a man, man bring pizza!" i promise, we don't even get pizza that often!)

too cute. she's sick as of yesterday (just in time for julie's four day trip), so i need to go try this absorb-garlic-through-your-feet toddler natural rememdy i just heard about.

The Adventures of the Impossible Sisters and the SUV

jenny read book, originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

this week our illogically-still-beloved honda civic hybrid was in for service. again. this is about the 8th or 9th time in the 13 months we've owned it. it was legally a lemon under texas law, but then they fixed that problem (having to do with the integrated motor assist). anyway, it was in for a random set of things, transmissiony-type lurching, soft breaks, a recall quick fix, and to replace the seat cover scratched during the previous work.

i made an enterprise reservation (on my dollar since my hinting on the phone about our single car status got me nowhere). after i turned over my keys, i stood waiting outside, clutching a less-than-pleased toddler with a carseat and her potty on the curb at my feet. along comes the manager of the service department, a guy who has heard enough from me over the past several months, so i presumed he'd remember me and, i suppose, my general tenaciousness (my positive characterization of my behavior, don't know if he'd say the same). i went for a slightly pathetic tinge on my "hello", and he asked if i was waiting for enterprise. i concurred, he went inside, and within 30 seconds he came back out and asked "will you fit in a pilot?" (the honda SUV). again, i concurred, and he said, "we're going to put you in one of our loaners, we've already cancelled enterprise for you." nice! free car! (ha, will we fit in a pilot? recall that we drive the second smallest vehicle you sell...)

well, it's a good thing we had a gratis loaner, because they kept my car for four days. in that time, i floated 160 miles around austin in my boat of car, and confirmed that i am *not* an SUV person. yikes. i guess people get used to whatever they have, but i was so annoyed that i couldn't see my blind spots, that i couldn't easily hand things to my child (who was about 10 feet away from me, i swear), that i could barely park (and i am a kick ass parallel parker, even of our old minivan, ask anyone). what i could do was drive like an asshole. (hey, i can't *see* you, and i'm pretty sure i'll win if we tangle, so why not cut of a hyundai or two? this explained a lot.) and i felt so at home in line at the schlotzsky's drive through, surrounded by three trucks and two larger SUVs. oh, i finally belong!

what i could also do in my SUV was a) haul lots of stuff, or b) take 6 friends with me, plus eva. the thing is, i still don't get why you'd buy an SUV for those reasons (granted, there are other valid reasons, but these are not so logical to me) -- for a fraction of the price of buying, insuring, and putting entire artic reserves of gas into this vehicle year after year, i could easily a) rent a van or truck for the day when i need to haul stuff twice a year, and b) rent a second fuel-efficient vehicle and caravan for the once a year i need to take more than three other people somewhere. my car may be small (especially with that damned hybrid battery taking up half the trunk, haha), but it's still a cost savings this way. last week i got overall 52 mpg in my hybrid; this week i got 21 mpg in my behemoth (which, by the way, is the same size as the *smallest* of ford's explorer/expedition/excursion trio!). that merits repeating: my car gets TWO AND A HALF TIMES the mileage of this car! i am flabbergasted. well, and the more i really think about it, disgusted. but don't worry, america, we can just get some more regime change going if we run out of fuel. no big deal. (now, the irreversible climate change, that's another story, but as larry says, lucky for us we have family in the geographical center of the continent. lora, have room for three more?)

(i hesitate to post this screed lest the 90% of people i know who drive a bigger car than i -- after my only recent move to a fuel efficient vehicle -- take it personally. everyone weighs the pros and cons and makes the decision that's right for them. in no way do i mean to judge anyone's choices. it's in a more general sense that i'm pissy today about our national attitude toward fuel economy. etc. and of course i do plenty of other stuff that's less than ideal politically and environmentally, so by no means to i hold myself up as an example for others.)

so, today i took my giant SUV and more fully masqueraded as a suburban stay-at-home-mom of two (getting crappy mileage as i drive 34.8 miles round trip for playgroup). we hung out all day today with cassia (almost 14 mo, 7 mo to the day younger than eva) because jenny was out of town for a conference. she said i'll learn why it's a biological impossibility to have kids 7 mo apart. what i actually learned was that if you're going to be responsible for two little kids, whatever the age difference, it's best if one of the kids is totally chill and laid back, and more specifically, if possible that kid should be cassia. my goodness is she a joy to be around...

i picked her up around 9, then headed to playgroup at meredith's. cassia was, of course, unphased by all the new kids and joined right in despite being a year younger than most. she enjoyed looking at the neighbor's chickens and sharing snacks, and people were impressed with her overall calm in a strange setting. eva was the one more affected, i think -- when carrying cassia back from the chicken viewing, eva reached up and insisted "mama hold a you" (and after i picked her up, pointed to herself and cassia in turn and said "one two girls, mama!" too cute.)

it took a bit of juggling getting one two girls to and from the car, but given their general cooperativeness (neither is prone to sprint off into traffic), it took only minor trickery to get it done. i was moderately concerned about nap (but not really, since i had larry to fall back on as needed), and even that was not a problem. i tried getting both of them to sleep at once (rookie optimism), but they were too busy distracting each other. i took eva downstairs, and after 10 or 15 minutes of quiet upstairs (cassia quiet; eva, not so much, yikes), i went upstairs to find cassia happily but sleepily looking out the window. i laid down with her and she was out after one and a half lullabies. i got eva to sleep later and laid her down on the chair in the front room (lest one wake the other prematurely if both in the bedroom together). they were so cute playing the rest of the afternoon (cassia really walking since i saw her three weeks ago and also talking away). we ate lots of snacks (cassia was a good influence on eva), and danced and eva offered cassia "coffee" from her teaset. gregory arrived just after 5, and after they left, eva cried so much. full tears dripping off her chin, crying "cassia! play cassia!" so sad, but very sweet that she had such fun with her friend (and one of her few younger friends, too). it's nice we'll be seeing cassia again in two days.

i was thinking of them as the "impossible sisters" all day, due to the biological impossibility (although i guess i could have adopted one, or theoretically if i had two uteri, but even then i don't think they can be more than a few months apart? anyway...). i have much respect for twin moms or moms (like my own) with two kids close in age -- my *one* day hardly compairs to doing this -- and much more -- every day. but, i guess it's all in what you get used to... i don't know how you consistantly meet the disparate needs of two kids, nor do i know how you drive a top-heavy SUV over the 183 flyover at more than 48 m.p.h., but in either case, you figure it out. and soon enough (i assume?) you get used to it and it becomes part of your normal routine. i had fun, but i also like my one kid small car regular life, too.

(don't know why all my recent blog entries are so damn long. i guess i suddenly have a lot to say... i'll try to reign it in next time. the photo is over a month old, but is the most recent one of eva and cassia, since i neglected to take any still shots today.)

30 hours away

i flew to kansas city to see farah's play thursday, and was gone for 30 hrs (and 39 minutes because my flight was late). this was my first time ever away from my baby, so i decided to do a journal in real time while i was away. here it is, long but left unedited:

wed 6:00 p.m. -- trying to pack, cranky and overtired. oh yeah, it's called sad and anxious.
7:30 p.m. -- she's sooo adorable, why am i leaving again?
10:00 p.m. -- so tired, headache. too bad, messy kitchen, i'm going to bed! notes for papa on door (flight info, playgroup).
10:30 p.m. -- bed. her peaceful sleeping face, oddly contorted arm poses. missing her already.
thurs 6:00 a.m. -- rush rush oh, there she is sleeping. so cute.
7:49 a.m. -- just sat down on plane. she was so sweet: "mama go bye-bye. airport! eva go a papa." too hurried to cry but it was sad to turn around and see them getting back in the car to leave.
9:40 a.m. -- walking through houston airport, arrived at gate where we left for mexico with eva and family, then passed gate where larry and i sat on way home from first mexico trip when pregnant feet aching, then passed flashing light art display i used to entertain eva on way to alaska. funny how i don't remember any pre-eva times i've spent in IAH.
10:30 a.m. -- taxiing to leave houston. absorbed in second sudoku until i noticed an unfamiliar state -- total relaxation! nothing on a "to do" list, not in a hurry, not concentrating on two or seven things at once. wow. fun.
11:57 talked to larry, eva's fine of course. pulling clothes out of the bottom drawer, wearing tiny hat. has been asking "find mama?" but content. said "hi mama" to me, what a tiny elusive voice. i barely heard her and she was gone.
1:10 p.m. -- arrive at farah's feeling peaceful. know eva's fine. feeling connected to her...
2:15 p.m. -- lovely lunch, glass of wine, no need to distract unruly dining companion or rush out. ahh!
3:35 p.m. -- spent half hour picking out cool fabrics for a custom designer handbag. sheesh, take the kid away from the mama and she goes crazy acting like a Regular Person (okay, the kind of Regular Person who buys handbags, anyway). how easily we fall into past roles, even though it feels sad/anxious in bursts every 45 minutes or so...
4:42 p.m. -- have urge to show photo of eva to passing stranger while shopping in anthropologie.
5:58 p.m. -- dressed and ready to go to theater. pumped milk (yow.) sad, because that's eva's milk; even sadder to pour 5 oz down the drain (when it took me three long tries to get 3 oz total at home!)
6:15 p.m. -- talked to eva: "hi mama. mama go airplane, fly 'way. hi mama!" so sweet. i'm not sad, but hearing her makes me wonder why i should ever want to be anywhere but next to her for her whole life. first time in separate cities! twice our longest separation already (previously about 5 hours)...
7:20 p.m. -- had a tour backstage earlier. just finished dinner, yum! table for one, "i understand you're ms. alvin's guest? anything at all you need, let us know."
9:01 p.m. -- intermission, just finished dessert. wine and coffee at the same meal! show is great, farah nearly knocked everyone over with one particular big number. i so rarely get to see her perform. what a treat. house manager stopped by for third time to check on me, boy am i special (by association). i wonder if eva is asleep yet, maybe not since she had a late nap...?
9:57 p.m. -- show's over, wow. the table next to me (who was seeking out the KU basketball score at intermission) got very excited to learn that i know farah, then the whole surrounding area began to rave. cute. the show's theme of marriage and family and love has me feeling all lovey about my two back home.
10:22 p.m. -- text message from larry. said sleep took a while but all is well. driving to go get a drink with farah and costar todd.
fri 12:17 a.m. -- chatted with farah for five more minutes wait one more thing no really i need to go to sleep now for real, just like always. guy hit on me at the bar, i was out of practice at the polite brush-off, but when asked what i did and i replied "i have a baby", that was effective. todd told a story about the desolation of driving across wyoming from jackson hole to laramie that i knew larry would appreciate. are cocktail waitresses all wearing wacky 70s gogo stuff these days, or just in kansas? i wouldn't know. about to pump and call larry, then sleep.
12:39 a.m. -- just talked to larry, he said eva did great all day and seemed to understand somewhat, saying "mama fly airplane" -- and was actually less anxious than when i go to the store without her. seemed confused by her first experience with expressed breastmilk (as in, wait, there's an option of having this in a cup?) i told larry being away makes me feel even more connected to both of them. he said "oh wait, you mean absence really does make the heart grow fonder?" okay, jerky, way to cheese up my sentimental moment. :)
8:22 a.m. -- ahhh....... i slept 6 hours without opening my eyes, and was dreaming about creme brulee when orbitz called my phone and woke me up at 7:20 (i could have had 7 straight hrs, unprecedented!) more pumping, 12 oz total down the sink.
9:49 a.m. -- at airport. talked about religion, politics, and literature with farah on the way here, how refreshing to have a grown-up conversation! (even better than the sleep.) just paid $5.49 for a gift for eva, a yellow sunflower magnet with two As ("kansas"), her favorite letter.
10:01 a.m. -- just talked to eva/larry. i was literally reaching for my phone when it rang -- it was eva! she called me all by herself, then hung up. i called back, larry said she was playing with his phone then handed it to him saying "broken?" i guess she slept well until almost 6 then wanted milk (her usual hour for that) and they had a more rough time for a while. now she's playing on the wagon.
12:20 p.m. -- stopover in dallas, i chat with a lovely federal investigator who re-investigates death penalty cases. her insight into how broken the system is is both fascinating and jaw-droppingly alarming.
1:55 p.m. -- landed in austin! from seat 28D, i curse the people in front of me, slowly gathering their things, keeping me from my babylove.
2:05 p.m. -- there they are, i see her! we run. i clutch her to me and cry, then i cry and laugh. she seems dazed, up early and no nap but i wonder briefly if she's confused or upset? in ten minutes, she's babbling away telling me of kites and knee booboos (a hilarious eva joke: "peek-a-booboo!") after approximately 37 minutes, it's like i'd never left (i a good way).

so, we all survived. larry and eva got to bond, i got a break. i did everything i never get to do: nice lunch, shopping, boutiques, theater, drinks, uninterrupted conversation... and best of all i got to do all that with my friend of 13 years. i'm thrilled, even if i now still have to face that messy kitchen.

30 minutes of chaos

boo!, originally uploaded by Kristy and Eva.

a brief interlude earlier tonight, while larry was at radio shack and picking up food. times are approximate, since who has time to watch the clock?

6:30 -- talking to mom on the phone. eva reports "peepee potty". the batteries in our cordless phones have died, so i'm using an old-fangled phone plugged into the wall, and unbeknownst (well, unrememberest?) to me, larry replaced the 6-foot cord with a longer one. anyway., loathe to get off the phone to parent my child, i tell her to come to me so i can help get her underwear off. underwear are already wet, i make mental note to find the puddle when i get off the phone. eva walks off.

6:31 -- eva stops exploring the front room and now makes her way to the potty. i hear her lift the lid and know she's fine, so stop paying attention. (foreshadow.)

6:35 -- after a few more minutes on the phone, eva asks to nurse for the third time that hour. that is probably because her only lunch was a banana, and she gave half of that to the dog.

6:39 -- eva finishes nursing, i notice a suspicious brown smear on my jeans where she was sitting (still waist-down naked) across my lap. i carefully set her down, and start to tell mom bye to go get wipes for eva. eva hears this, and helpfully pulls a wipe from the container that has mysteriously been moved to the living room.

6:40 -- i wipe eva, and she continues helping: returns to wipes container, pulls out new wipe, wipes, discards onto carpet. repeats a dozen or so times until wipes box is empty. i can't really reach her without stretching the phone cord and knocking stuff off the table, so i let her do this.

6:44 -- i get off the phone, toss the poo-wipe i'm still gingerly holding in my one messy hand, and proceed to the bathroom to inspect the damage. suddenly i remember the dog's new-as-of-yesterday grossness of eating eva's poo. (disgusto doggie managed this while i was chasing down a certain potty escapee to wipe her.) sure enough, potty is (mostly) empty.. find dog, toss her outside in an effort to purge the disgustingness from my head.

6:46 -- decide it's time to feed my child. she's already scrambled up into her chair before i remember she's still not wearing any underwear. remedy that, fasten her in.

6:47 -- eva begins to demand cheese. i explain we have no cheese, but papa will bring some when he gets home from the store. undeterred, she continues her cheese demands while the dog barks at the perceived injustice of being thrown outside for no good reason.

6:48 -- offer eva beans, i know full well she only resists tossing the non-cheese based food onto the floor because it has been placed on the coveted sun plate (the flower plates, of which there are 7, are platae non gratae -- forgive my high school/made-up latin -- in favor of the sun plate, of which there is one, one that always seems to be in the dishwasher). she won't touch the beans, but at least doesn't toss them. yet.

6:49 -- after a thorough search of the fridge, i discover ricotta, which i know is cheese and you know is cheese, but i doubt eva will agree that it's indeed cheese. dog still barking, i hype up the special cheese, and she is predisposed to like it because it's arriving with a bowl and a spoon, which on alternate days is a fabulous or awful thing. she tries and likes it, so i quickly stir the beans into it.

6:52 -- i begin to cook veggies to go with the now-opened ricotta and leftover phyllo dough. eva becomes bored with eating the special cheese, and decides to smear it all over her hands (having "dropped" her fork as well as her first and replacement spoons already). i decide to pick my battles (i.e., not this one) and ignore her as she proceeds to encrust her arms and forehead with ricotta (which becomes cement-like more quickly than you'd think).

6:57 -- eva says "peepee potty" (accidents always come in pairs or trios around here), and before i can wipe my hands on my shirt and get over there (she's taken to stealing all kitchen towels within her reach, and i would have used my pants but they were removed in the earlier poo incident), i hear the pee begin to reach the floor and splatter on the tile.

6:59 -- i have eva standing next to the chair, and from my stash on the table, i've thrown a towel onto the puddle on the floor and the one on the chair. poodog still barking and now also scratching at the door, i peel off her underwear (worn for all of 13 minutes) and make the rookie mistake of reaching to move the towel around in an effort to mop up more of the pee. as i do so, eva reaches down and finds the ricotta covered beans -- the very same ones that were deemed unworthy of consuming minutes ago and tossed aside -- and gets at least one into her mouth. and now not for the squeamish: the beans were located within direct splatter range of her falling pee, not to mention that they're on the floor that's only as "clean" as it is because the dog licks up eva's tossed food, the same dog who, you know, apparently now eats other stuff with that mouth.

7:00 -- trying not to think about it, i scoop her up ignoring the pee and crusty ricotta this transfers to my shirt, and announce we're off to have a bath. good thing i have enough interrupt-driven mamaness under my belt to have had the foresight to turn off the stove before rushing to the peemergency (thus managing not to destroy my veggies). however, it's another hour before i remember that the oven is still preheating. (oh right, what was i doing again?) on my way to the oven, i step in the puddle from the first accident. oh, so that's where that is! still haven't remembered to clean it up, though. i'll go do that now.

some days, similar stings of events leave me demoralized. today i just found it funny. lucky me! :)