my girls, day 4

oh, where to start? has it really only been four days? somehow i feel like she's always been here with us, like the birth was part of a whole previous life. and i guess both those things are true in a way. so here she is, sweet lovely hazel, and i can't even believe how blessed i am to have these two children. life is so amazing...

we're all doing well. i feel fine, really -- i get tired easily and feel a bit achy from time to time, but i have a hard time believing i was pregnant and gave birth four days ago. i had very little bleeding with the birth or since, which i'm sure is a big part of why i feel good (that and the fact that i've been home the whole time! i think having to change locations can really take it out of a person, especially if you have to spend much time in a hospital where their secondary goal seems to be to ensure you never sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time).

eva seems to be adjusting quite well thus far. she seemed so excited and proud to get to see her baby sister's birth, and immediately started trying to soothe hazel by singing her songs and stroking her hair... so sweet. sure, eva's been a bit out of sorts this week, but i think that's as much due to general commotion and change in routine as it is to anything else. she asks to hold hazel a couple times a day, and earlier today as she held her, she sang this song to "her baby" (as hazel began to make a few noises and root around): "oh hazel, your breastmilk is coming pretty soon, i know you are hungry... but i have to snuggle you first and we also love you too..." then when larry began to bring hazel over to me (after eva agreed it was time), eva said to her, "i love you so much and i'm glad that i have you in my family." oh! this hormonal mama just about melted (and i was glad i had a pen handy to furiously scribble all that down).

and hazel... oh my sweet baby. she's doing so well for someone so new to this world. she's a very content, peaceful baby (for now, i know these things can change :). she basically nurses and sleeps, with charming periods of quiet alert newbornness in between. at this early point in her life, if she cries, that means she's about to burp (or poo), and as soon as that's done, she drops right back off to sleep or goes back to nursing. she's also been tricking her papa with lots of those triple diaper changes, where even when he waits until it really seems she's done, she'll fill the clean diaper within moments of it going on. it's kind of comical from my position across the room, possibly less so to him, say, in the middle of the night.

it's so nice, we're so much more laid back this time around. that's largely the second baby effect, but it's also due to not being influenced by the medical model of baby care this time. with eva, we wrote down the time, side, and duration of every nursing session, tracked her poos and pees, took her temperature every few hours, and swabbed her cord with alcolhol at every diaper change. with hazel, we haven't done one of those things, and it's so nice to save that mental energy for something else -- like just enjoying gazing at her. i hope this early trend of being more calm and present in the moment persists. that's my goal, anyway.

for the data junkies: at 48 hrs, hazel weighed 6 lbs 10 oz (meaning she had lost about 5% of her birth weight), and now at 4 days, she weighs 7 lbs 2 oz, above her birth weight already! i'm not surprised she's back over her birth weight quickly (eva did the same), but i am a bit surprised that she gained 8 oz in 48 hrs. (if you couldn't guess, my milk arrived on day 2 and she's been nursing like a champ since then...)

so here i sit, cabbage in my bra, spit-up from three separate incidents covering my shirt (the second of the day), needing a shower (and a nap, i'm sure), with laundry in stacks and toys everywhere... but deleriously happy. at some point, the fatigue will catch up with me and i'll crash and wonder what the hell i've gotten myself into, but for now, we're soaking it all up.

No comments: